Abolish Prop H8TE And Have The Last Laugh Whilst Sticking a Flag in it!

Let me first start out with- that I love Gay people. All Gays. Black Gays, Whitish Gays, Chinese gays (who drive remarkably gay and after a 30 minute car ride with one of them I was surprisingly hungry for another car -ride), retarded Gays and Gay Black midget Gays. I believe they deserve the right to marry. To be able to check the box marked, "married", on a clip board in a waiting room to get tested for STD's. To have the privilege of taking this small action for granted is a dignity I believe worthy of ALL of our time.

After all, my parents didn't have to be Black to fight in the Civil Rights movement during the sixties. My mother dropped out of college to volunteer for Martin Luther King Jr. --way before he became famous. She couldn't STAND the way Black people were being treated in this country. And If you look up the 1962 version Encyclopedia Britanica under 'Civil Rights', you will see a FABULOUS photo of my mother AND Grandmother holding picket signs. They are wearing cat glasses with pixie haircuts holding picket signs in front of a sea of angry Black faces. Even when some Black people told them it wasn't their fight and to "Go home!". They were still unstoppable. After getting thrown in a Chicago jail (with Dick Gregory) for peaceful protesting they sang out of tune and clapped off time (cuz they was white), to the old Negro spiritual, "We Shall Over Come (Someday)". Well.... Wednesday, Thursday, Friday... Someday! Came. Because they were unstoppable! Even after my RACIST Great GREEK (Gay) Grandfather who owned Pacific Oil and 1000 acres of Sonoma Valley land ( he called it, "The Ranch" just like his Butt Pirate buddy William Randolf Hersch did) disinherited my Grandmother from his will for having a Black boyfriend named "Bill". They were still unstoppable. Even after all that- AND Bill (you fuck) left my rich Grandmother pennyless and the "whiteboys didn't want her back after she went black", they were Still unstoppable. They were on the Voter Registration party and risked their lives and getting raped by Blacks all the way through the South. Courageously, stepping up porches and knocking on doors begging fearful Black people to, "Get out the Vote!" Only to hear: "Please get off my porch nice white ladies before I get kilt". They were unstoppable. AND NOW...we have a beautiful, educated, Black president- THANKS to those two "Nice White Ladies". On behalf of my Moms and Grams I accecpt your apology Black people And You are welcome EVERYBODY.

That's who I want to be for All the Gays. The face of a friend. Like Dorothy in The Wizard of OZ. But on the yellow brick road walking for Justice. Marriage for one and all! Even though my boyfriend is not personally ready to make that kind of committment to me. I think Gay people still should. In a time when the conventional American family is falling apart, maybe it's time to let Gay people show us how to.. re-decorate our domestic lives, if you will. Maybe then marriage will look more appealing to my boyfriend. I think they have more than proven themselves capable in lot's of other areas. I believe LIFE IS HOLOGRAPHIC. Meaning if you are one way in one area you are sure to be the same way in all others. Let the Gays transform our shitty OLD model of marraige! Let them help US ALL shift into a new model of marraige. It needs to be revised for the 21st century! Where women need not OBEY their Dusche Bag husbands or have to stick by him for better or "Worse". Sometimes worse is your poor grandma battered by drunken Irishmen (Bill prolly pimp slapped her too), One (Gramps) threw her down the stairs when she was pregnant with my mother. (Roe Vs. Wade wasn't in effect yet). I'm really sorry Gram's you know how I like to put you in my act. I love you. Please forgive me it's for a good cause! ;D).

Besides who are we to kybosh their Gay domestic dreams? That is wearing red-to-church-iculous! Marraige was INVENTED! Someone INVENTED that BullSHIT ! Before that people were just fucking LOST. Just like we are now. Prop H8te proves it!

So, this is for the betrayed and anguished adorable Gay man I saw protesting downtown Los Angeles with a picket sign that read, "C'mon, We TOOK YOU TO THE PROM!", and his boyfriend who's sign read: "I WOULD MAKE A GREAT WIFE!" AND to the beautiful boy in drag whose weary high heeled feet stopped to rest and make me cry, TO JESSE ACEVEDO, my gay crush who kicked me out of San Francisco to pursue my Hollywood dreams; This is for you:

FUCK YOU AMERICA! LAND OF THE FREE? FUCK YOU AND YOUR SELECTIVE FREEDOM! SUCK MY VAGINAL DINGLEBERRY BALLS! I hope you get a pube stuck in your collective throats! You overly corn fed, wrongly interpreting Jesus, HIPPOcrits! EAT my AssGRITS! Fuck your lying, secretly dick-sucking husbands and titty lusting WHORISH Goldigging fat tacky wives who used my Gay boyfriends for Prom dates! You will NEVER, Not even on the 1st of NEVER- get to Heaven keeping fags in Hell. Fuck you! You Cunt-Struck Cocksucker haters! Jesus does NOT Love YOU! But He definitely loves THIS girl! I AM HIS absolute FAVORITE person EVER. I am the daughter of God and this is my message. Like Celie in The Color Purple said, "Until you do right by me (and my gay friends) everything you even think about will be cursed! (My fingers are holding the devil cross at you fuckers who didn't read the proposition correctly because you are LAZY! I HOPE YOUR BEDSORES HURT).

So here is what I propose: Gay People You don't have to take it in the ASS anymore! If they wont give it to you. You gotta go GANGSTER! Like the Blacks and my Moms And Grams did.

Yes I believe in the prop H8te fight. But maybe you're missing the BIGGER fight? Why not fight for a Homeland? Like The Jews did but call it GiZrael. Hell YesRael! That shit was straight Gangster! They used the Bible to take it. There is a Gay Mafia CORRECT ?? Stop being a bunch of pussy ASS faggots and get your own COUNTRY! If the Jews can snivel their way into it so can you! I do Not mean I don't want Gay people here in this country. That would be HORRIBLE. It would be like a day with out a Mexican! (Think of your Country's first movie premier, "A Day Without The Gays!". There will be no parades in the movie so traffic will run smoothly but the town will be unorganized). That would be a horrible hate crime and is not what I mean. The BOTTOM line is: We need Gays EVERYWHERE. But Gays need a Haven. The Queens need a Monarchy! The Butch Kings need a Militia! (Or that Look will continue to be wasted!) Plus, the Butch's would finally find Bin Ladin in like 5 minutes flat. Because they are the only ones who Really know how to CAve Dive. I know I tried it once when I was supposed to be in college (If someone didn't bust through the door before I came I totally could have been a gay.) Plus they already come equipped with all that spalunking gear. That's cave diving equipment for all you mongoloids who didn't crack open a book ever. You fucking retard. I said I love GAY retards. Not regular ones. Please don't get offended I'm only excersizing my favorite thing about our "Free" country, Freedom of Speech! This is how I keep off the streets bitches.

While It's in the bible, "Man should not lay with other men". It doesn't say anything about women. So Ladies! Lezzy ladies! Get up and get this Gay ass Country started! It could be called "Gizrael", or "Gaystraylia!" or "Fudgepakistan!" . Maybe an Island. Right? Loser straight People have always said, Gays need they're own Island. Like MANhattan. Ohh that's already taken. How about "Asspakistan" and 'Iramitintohim" right next to "Iraincumonseamen" and "I'vebeeninhim". All the homes on the Island can be unlocked because it will be SAFE. Also, it will be customary to come through the back door.

Maybe a clusster of Islands that a couple rich Lipstick Lesbians can exploit and profit off of lonely Butch Kings who take Toga themed cruises to Islands like "Lickstania" or the capitol "Bann-Cock" and "Doesn't-fuck-Men-Istan". "New Pole-Land" where they actually get the jokes. Where your flannels will get burned and you'll wake up wearing a bra with your armpits shaved. Mmm..that could sway me. How bout a bi-curious Island where tour-guides can take "straight" women snorkeling. The possibilities are endless!

So, Gays and Bull Dykes Alike,
Think of how Awesome it would be if a Gay Nation was created! A Whole entire Country!
BUTT-YOU GOTTA Get political AND most importantly get BIBLICAL UP IN THIS PIECE! Who LEt THE GAYS OUT??? Rouf!! ROUF!! Think of it! It will be the most beautifully decorated country in the world! It will look just like all the beautiful country's of the world only much much better. Like a great Cathedral it will take time. Maybe Centuries. But since Gays have been here since the Dawn of creation (I THINK GOD WAS GETTING A BJ from a Gay on that day), new gays will benefit for centuries to cum (Again Grams, Sorry). They can live on kibbuts like kids in Gizrael. Spending their days learning Gay languages and their nights washing in bath houses playing "drop the soap" and giggling. Free giggles. Finally, parents all over the world will have a place to send their gay ass children too instead of the priesthood! Parents you have got to stop using the Seminaries as a Gay refugee camp! It's oppressive and counter-reproductive. Instead you can just say, "Bailif, take the child."

So Gays, The most important thing of all in conquering your country is: "Do you have a flag???" You need a flag. I'm thinking something colorful. Infact don't leave one primary color out. Like the rainbow taken from nature that will reflect the natural state of gayness. The rainbow, like on the poster for, "The Wizard of Oz". Hey! That's What you can call it! The Land of OZ. You can make it exactly like the movie if you want.

I don't know if it will be a democracy. Knowing the Gays there will be a lot of rules. Manicured lawns, signs that read: Hey! Pick up your pussy. Don't Be Clitters! There will be Gayinizm. With a National Language, a formal text and fundraisers. Mostly over-bearing Jewish mothers making cold calls on your behalf. I think it will be a Dicktastership. Look I know the final solution to Gay problems sometimes slips through the cracks, but my sincere hope is that All of your problems will be licked. Stop being victims of persecution. Learn from the Jews and the Dali Llama. If they can survive in exile you can thrive both here and there too. Please I really need a hero Gay people. I'd really like to get proposed to some time this century. It's up to you.



Sincerely,
An IMPORTANT friend to Dorothy

P.S. I also believe cats deserve the right to marry. Vote 9 Lives!

Thank you.

Dirty Desktop(less) Drawers Part 1

I heard this question asked at a party once, in passing. "Where does my trash go when I empty it off my computer desktop?" There was a laugh and an answer I didn't hear because, I was passing. Probably, for more booze since I was moving swiftly in one direction. It sounded like a funny premise for a joke to me. But, I have since taken this inquiry a bit more seriously.

I'm paranoid because my very strict, old, gay landlord recently picked through my trash. He busted me with-my-shade-of-lipstick on several ciggerette butts. I promised him I wasn't smoking. So, consequently this led to a rent increase. Along with, came, a violated, and sickening feeling. As the wool scratched off my eyes, my life flashed before them. I recalled the time I was visiting my friend Bonnie in New York. She's a working actress on a series there. I remember she told me that she had to be careful what she threw in the trash because of nosey neighbors trying to find things out about her. Then there was the time I parked my rainbow banana seat bike in the back yard, eight years old, in Chicago. After being chased for several blocks. Five little black kids yelling at me to, "give me the bike!" I got inside the gate and closed it. Safe. I pulled the kick stand out with my foot and steadied it. Then ran up the steps into the house, catching my breath, and forgot about it. After dinner I came out to catch fire flies in a jar. The bike was gone. That bike was the last present I got from my mom before she divorced my dad and moved to California. Stepping outside and seeing it gone was a moment that came with a powerful realization. The inside of my fence is not "safe" like in baseball. Homebase doesn't exist in real life. A few days later, my step brother and I walked out of the public library. There were a bunch of kids at the bottom of the steps. One little girl with two big poofs in her hair came riding in on a rainbow banana seat bike. I started to say, "Hey! That's my bike!" But, my seven year old brother stuck his arm out across my chest and whispered, "Don't. They'll kill you."

The invasion of my privacy, on the part of my garbage picking landlord, stunned me long enough to ponder the possibility of a very serious question. Where Does my cyber trash go once it's supposedly erased off my desktop? Does it just poof! Disappear like I hope? Or is there a cyber BIG BROTHER landfill owner SLUMLORD collecting evidence on me by a "genius" at a "Genius Bar"? Am I polluting and tearing a whole in cyber ozone layers as a secret file thickens on me? Or am I someday about to be blackmailed for money unless I become a Scientologist?

In my minds eye, I see little cybertrash pickers with no-name tags sifting through my, once private, nude artistic photos say, or incriminating evidence of secret affairs I saved in a file of raunchy IM's, I finally discarded. I see cyber-trash-men with leaflet blowers on thier backs illegally working for the man, in their pants. Silently blowing my privacy into the hands of naughty hacker tradesmen who sell items in secret chatrooms. Spanking it to my naivete! Are there private agencies of word document traffickers!?! This might seem ridiculous, perposterous even. Still, and for the record. I have to ask. Can someone assure me that my paranoid conspiracy theory is nothing but a figment of my narcissitic mind? My God, I'm not even famous. Please tell me nobody cares about what I dumped into I don't know where. Where? Do you know where my cyber trash goes? Or you can just snicker and pass this by, like I did. Until the Big Brother of your life dips into your private trash and uses your broken promises against you. Smoke up Jonney!

Also, for the record. I met an African American woman in a personal growth seminar that had her bike stolen by a bunch of white kids. We laughed as we traded stories, and then eyed each other suspiciously. She asked me if I used to live in Bakersfield. I asked her if she used to wear her hair in poofs.

Don't Read This Book It'll Ruin The Movie!

Think -And- Grow A Pair
By Dbird

Have you had an old person sit next to you recently? Did the rotting stench kill the courage it took to say hello to the younger more attractive person sitting on the other side of you? Did you look her in the eye when you got up and asked if you could sit there? Or did your eyes dart everywhere like the day you figured out they'd lied to you, first time? They feel invisible you know. Old people. You should always look them in the eye. Let them know you can still see them. Then they will tell you, "Life goes by quick!" They like to snap and go, "Just like that!" Just ask one. They'll be happy to tell you all about how fast life goes while your bus crawls through traffic. That is, if you can stand their rotting insides battering your sensual breathe pipes. Wishing you were still intoxicating yourself with the shirt your lover slept in then dropped and forgot so easily onto your left running shoe. You sniffed it before stuffing it into the hamper. She left just before you. You took too long in the shower thinking, "Is she messy? I don't want a messy wife." She'd wanted to walk together to the train and is probably still mad. Like an evil witch cursing you with a warning snap, "Just like that!" There are maggots that go with that stench. Time warps in sickening speed as you wrinkle and shrink. Failed marriage, you look at your kid and say, "Just like that!" and suddenly your sitting on a park bench wondering why your kid won't call you one more time and leave a message you won't return. Why your dead father still controls everything you do and despite warnings from evil doers you still do not appreciate the urgency life is that you appreciate her. Life. Not your wife, She's been gone. You're waiting tables to try and pay hospital bills and someone suggests a gratitude journal. She saw it on Oprah. Gratitude is to life what telling a beautiful, insecure, woman she is beautiful is. That bottomless pit will never be enough and it never gets old. You just do it. Because that is what she requires. Thank you. Maybe you should have told your wife she was beautiful. You think? No, she's not that shallow. She's gone, you remember. Thank you. She's gone. And you have no idea how much that pain will stink up a bus in 50 years. If you're lucky. And still, you have to say, "Thank you, Life." When everyone moves away from you and nobody looks you in the eye. "Thank you."